Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts

Monday, 9 December 2013

It was among some unclaimed papers

panam103-image

No one seeing James Worthington outside of his own home town would have given him a second look. He was just an ordinary man. Everything about his outward appearance said so. Even he himself, one month short of his 25th birthday, would have agreed, had he been asked. Yet deep within his heart there lay the seed of an idea sown years before by a teacher whose name and face had faded from his memory. Poverty and the struggle to exist surrounded him back then, fitting into the scenery as he joined others going to school in threadbare clothing. At home his father, like so many others, desperately sought work to keep food on the table and the rent paid, with five mouths to feed and his wife dead these seven years now.

It was at school where James found his self-esteem matching the lowest level of existence. The awareness of this standing was a gradual thing and came about by observation. He noticed some teachers favoured pupils who were generally better clothed and better fed because their parents were better off. As a consequence they received more attention and performed well at school. This did not sour his attitude toward those pupils or the teachers. He continued to live as carefree a life as we possible amidst such surroundings. In any case, self-esteem was an unknown term to pupils, and apparently to teachers too in those days.

Considering the start he'd had, James succeeded remarkably well, quite in keeping with the seed sown in his mind by his teacher. As the ground is not aware of what is placed within it, so to his knowledge, no conscious thought made James aware that the seed had germinated and begun to grow. If his love of words and books, the feeding of his imagination by an ever-widening choice of reading, his thirst for information and knowledge was apparent to others, it did not register in his mind, but in the process he was becoming an educated man.

At some point James left the country of his birth and set out to settle in New Zealand where he was accepted for what he was. With his achievements recognised and rewarded he was encouraged to further study and develop his skills. Some years later, now happily married and with children, he returned to his homeland, keen to know more of his family and background. He'd given himself a month to research at the Public Records Office in his home town.

The year was 1988, the month was December, and having completed as much of his research as he was able, he boarded the plane that was to take him home to New Zealand, via the USA. That hight he disappeared in an explosion which blew apart the Pan Am flight 103 he was on high above Lockerbie in Scotland. Whatever may have been left of James and most of his fellow passengers was buried in a mass grave not far from where they came to rest. The terrorists who planted the bomb saw and cared nothing for the horror they had created.

James' son visited Lockerbie after he had completed his studies and made his way slowly through the memorial hall set up there. At one stage he came across some pages of unclaimed papers, miraculously having survived the explosion. Tears filled his eyes as he stopped to read one of them. It said,
As the twig is bent, so the tree will grow.
These words were written by his father, James Worthington, in his own handwriting, and were among the last words he wrote. His son wept.

Dennis Crompton © 1998

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Mindful be

cemetery

Again, youth's had its terrible fling,
reckless, carefree, bubbling thing,
now streams of cars flow through the town,
head for the plot in cemetery ground.
*
If only young eyes could have seen,
felt the hopeless sorrowing,
known the grief and felt the pain,
of friends and family by the grave.
*
The preacher says what he has to say,
but you don't answer, you've gone away,
left us here to weep and sigh,
to remember you as years crawl by.
*
Young life's a wild, tempestuous thing,
trying out its fledgling wings,
careless, free, racing to and fro,
seeking all there is to know.
*
Now its finished at least for you,
we who are left, we grieve for you,
robbed of your warm personality, we
learn how fleeting is our humanity.
*
In that, you may not have died in vain,
a warning giving to those who remain,
life is a precious, quicksilver thing,
contained in a mortal, disposable frame.
*
Enjoy by all means what freely abounds,
of life in your family and all that surrounds,
mindful please be, if tragically finished,
we who remain will be sadly diminished.
*
Dennis Crompton © 1995

Thursday, 21 November 2013

A time of remembrance


war

He’d been married three years, was enjoying life with his wife and daughter, everything was going well for them…and then the war broke out. He tried to ignore the inevitable and get on with life, together with his family but knew he’d have to leave them in the end. He was just a country lad who loved the land and animals, not up with politics and such; he just wanted - well - to be left alone and to be with his family.

Of course that couldn’t be, not with his country at war; he was a man and was expected to fight. It didn’t matter where he went, there was always something to remind him; flags flying, patriotic posters in prominent places, men and women in uniform; that and the questions folk asked, without even speaking when they saw him.

His heart was heavy; something seemed to warn him not to go; on his own sometimes he’d get a kind of a premonition, though he wasn’t superstitious. A voice, warm and proud whispering, ‘You’re going to be a hero. You’ll get a medal!’ Then a different voice, cold and matter of fact, taunted, ‘Because you’re one of those warm and sensitive types, you have to realise some things; those you leave behind; those who order you to go and those who train you, won’t have to see you shoot your rifle, use your bayonet as you advance, screaming your insane head off; and in the state you’ll be in after that, well, it’s best you don’t come back. You can see that, can’t you? But then, your country will be proud of you; you’ll be a hero!’

Of course he slept badly, waking often, imagining himself staring at his own gravestone; his name standing out amongst row upon regimental row of others, neat and trim and: ‘Ready for inspection! Sir!’
...
Whether they accomplished anything by their visits to the cemetery at Cape Helles, would be hard to say; but his beloved and his daughter placed fresh flowers on the small white slab beneath his name plate each time they went. Like all wives and family members after such visits, they both left feeling drained and unutterably sad, hating the stupid waste of it all. They left heartaches and tears as well, but you can’t record those, can you?
*
A fellow member of the Returned Services Association told me this story after he’d been to take a photograph of the battlefield where the Turkish soldier and the R.S.A. chap’s friend, a Kiwi solider, fell and died. It was through one of those strange coincidences life throws up at you sometimes, that he came to know this chap’s wife and daughter and they established a firm friendship. They met in that Turkish cemetery that day and took a photograph of his grave. The inscription read simply: ‘Private Talat Demisar, aged 22 years. He did his duty’.

And from a short distance away, the haunting strains of the Last Post hung in the quiet air as the three of them remembered, together.

Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Becoming a father changed all that...



Unidentified girls, Spanish Civil War
Unidentified girls, Spanish Civil War
My friend, Robert asked me one day,
What did Hiroshima mean to you as a young man?’
 *
Well … nothing really, I’d never thought much about it, I said,
back then in 1945, I was only fifteen and patriotic,
I mean, I saw around me bomb damaged houses,
streets of them and lots of temporarily bomb-shocked humans, vacant-eyed …
scrambled-minded wrecks shuffling along the streets of my home town.
I heard the pilot-less flying bomb one night, its engine suddenly quiet overhead,
felt my heart thumping loudly in that sudden … very frightening silence
I hear it yet at times and if I should perchance forget,
I can Google it onto my computer screen - if I wish…
 *
Ground Zero for Hiroshima, August of that same year …
Oh yes! They reaped Churchill’s promised whirlwind
and that was fine by me.
 *
Becoming a father changed all that, it sure changed me…
it gave Hiroshima a meaning, a meaning that was thrust upon me one day
when I imagined my daughters there, back then, and thankfully
I’d lost my soul-destroying callowness…
 *
Now I’m part of that history, have changed, am changing now
with still more to come …
so in a way, Hiroshima had a point,
for all of us, I’d say.
 *
Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

A peculiar swing of the pendulum

Pendulum clock conceived by Galileo Galilei around 1637. The earliest known pendulum clock design, it was never completed. (Wikipedia)
Pendulum clock conceived by Galileo Galilei around 1637, but never completed. (Wikipedia)
Quite a number of city folk look on me with something akin to pity when I tell them that I live in the country, especially when I mention the name of the town. Odd really as many came from similar situations themselves. Some faces soften: those who've made it financially; or those in the process and who plan to return; those who get out of the rat race and come back into the peace and calm of the rural scene…which is a fiction really. The pendulum can swing from tranquillity to disaster just as easily in country districts as in the cities. It did in my town.

The bank's still there but not the blood stains. They went with the blue carpet and some of the fittings ripped out during the alterations afterwards. Working in the district forensic laboratory for some years I'd processed photographs and items of many crimes. I've seen what bullets can do to a human body when delivered at very close quarters. It was horrific what one bullet did to the victim who survived.

Understandable, then, that customers and bank staff required counsellors to assist them and members of the police and St John's Ambulance to cope with it all. They did their best but some things can't be altered. Not with counselling. Not with the passing of time, not even when the sun shines, when the streets are peaceful or when people pass their daily lives with the appearance of quiet assurance. Ask those affected on that day and they'll tell you that a recurring nudge from their subconscious reminds them of the peculiar swing of the pendulum.

Before 'that day' everything about the bank had suggested permanence: the quietness within its solid structure; the carpet soft underfoot; the neat uniforms of the staff; and the calm appearance of the manager. It was the same each day of the week. You could bank on it, as the saying goes. This section of the counter was for the ordinary public, that section for business people with their canvas bags of cheques and cash, and over there was for other business and where you made enquires. Folk who'd ‘made it’ ordered their travellers cheques and foreign currency there, all smiles and quietly confident in possession of their wealth. A great time for them to be alive and with further excitements just around the corner. (Further excitement. Yes indeed.)

Each locality has its quota of odd people of varying ages, backgrounds and persuasion adding their distinctive flavour, even a richness of one kind or another. In our town there was a woman, some called a medium, who could be counted on to say or do something beyond the norm during the different phases of the moon. On this day, when no one could have guessed how she knew, her voice urgent and insistent said there was a foulness and smell of death in the air. Then, in the same breath, likened it to the horde of pests awaiting release from Pandora's box. She was going on about innocent people being shot when the young receptionist put the phone down. ‘I thought it was a hoax,’ she sobbed later, when the editor heard about it.

But by then it was too late.

An unusual kind of excitement was brooding in the kitchen of the home of the Bowden family, not far out of town that day. It coincided exactly with the phone call from the medium to the local press. At the Bowden house, Scott's mother was sick to her stomach. Her son's normally warm personality had changed, with an abruptness that sent her reeling. Breakfast had been bad enough, she just couldn't do anything right for him. It was more than just a bad temper, it was the mood changes that began to cause her serious concern.
Then, about mid-morning she'd said something that tipped the scales the wrong way and the air became heated with tension. It was a great pity, but understandable when the facts became known. At a friend's place the night before his drinks had been spiked, for laughs apparently. Whatever the substance was, it set in motion an outrage that filled many people with horror and despair, especially the parents of teenagers. The fools who'd wanted a few laughs, if they got them, was actually the one responsible for the deaths and heartbreaks that followed.

The change began in the early hours of the following morning, Scott struggling with his fuddled mind trying to make sense of what was happening to him. Waves of panic and alarm sent him rushing into bursts of wild activity, little of it balanced or coherent before gradually becoming quiet again. A quietness which progressed to an unnatural icy coolness suggestive of a mind teetering on the brink of insanity. He'd left the house by the time his mother had called him for lunch, and she hesitated a while before phoning the police to tell them of her concerns. Her recorded message was played back two hours later.

Junior bank teller, Grant Haskell, was a spirited young man, who possessed along with his good looks a bubbling kind of personality which most people, especially other teens, found attractive. He also had considerable potential which the bank was keen to nurture. Scott Bowden knew Grant. They'd played basket-ball and been on the same school camps together. They were friends but not close friends. Yet two witnesses were convinced he'd shown no recognition of Grant as Scott had rested the barrel of the rifle on the counter. They saw him survey the bank staff, their eyes mesmerised by the rifle moving backwards and forwards in an arc in front of them. They'd watched as Grant moved slowly from behind the counter, attempting a smile in the hope Scott would recognise him and stop the madness.

As Grant opened his mouth to speak to Scott, the barrel of the rifle wavered slightly up and to the left. The crack of the shot stunned everyone and they all said how, in a kind of slow motion, they watched in disbelief as the bullet entered just below Grant’s jaw to come out a fraction of second later by the side of his left eye. Just before Grant crumpled to the ground, there was a moment when the skin and bone in between burst open and a gaping hole pumping with blood appeared in the side of his face. Moments after the blast, Scott appeared to regain a brief semblance of normality but still he gunned down a customer and a bystander outside who'd tried to prevent him leaving. He was caught, tried and sentenced.

Our laboratory supplied the evidence at the trial, establishing that a drug found on the premises of one of the party-goers was the same as that found in Scott's brain at the post mortem. The two deaths in our small town and one bank teller dreadfully disfigured was news-worthy for a while. You're probably thinking, 'I've heard it all before', except it didn't end there; there was another peculiar swing to this particular pendulum.

At a manager’s meeting, the local bank manager, Mr Reginald Naylor, felt that reconstructive plastic surgery to Grant Haskell's face would be a constant reminder of the murder and therefore offensive to some people who relied on the bank. The general feeling was it would be better for Grant to be away from it all, and they left Mr Naylor to sort it out from there. It might have helped if he'd talked to Grant, however, as Grant had the potential to rise well above his own position. Mr Naylor felt that just wouldn’t be right. To give himself time to sort things out, he gave Grant a month's paid leave, after his long spell in hospital and reconstructive surgery, and he made his plans.

The letter was on his desk when Grant, almost restored to his former identity but with horrific signs on the suffering he had endured still evident, returned from the hospital and his extended leave. He was warmly welcomed back by his colleagues who had been regular visitors to him throughout his rehabilitation. Grant had been and integral part of the bank team, even as a junior teller, and the bank had always stressed the importance of that. They'd had regular get-togethers, week-end seminars, a mixture of intensive lectures and fun-times to achieve that end, and they'd succeeded. Loyalty to each other went hand in hand with loyalty to the bank. So you can understand what Grant thought of loyalty when he opened the letter terminating his employment.

Some weeks later, Gwyneth White's dog attracted her attention to a patch of bush on her family farm. It was the body of Grant; it was presumed he'd gone missing in the bush not long after receiving his termination letter. Searchers had given up after several extended sweeps of the area failed to find evidence of him being there, and yet there he was, not far from his home town.

Now what will happen at the next swing of the pendulum do you think?

Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

In passing, 1929

1929

I was side-lined by a suggestion on one of the web pages I visited recently by the words, ‘Gregorian calendar’ and decided to take a peep at the year 1929, the year I was born:
  • February 14 was the day of the St Valentine’s gangland massacre in Chicago, (not a good start … ),
  • the year ended with the stock market crash, when $26 billion dollars was wiped off US Securities.
It wasn’t all bad however, as developments in science were encouraging:
  • Albert Einstein proposed the unified field theory … seemed a good idea to me,
  • a German psychiatrist developed the electroencephalograph (EEG) for recording brain waves; useful for those told they had no brains,
  • for the first time, penicillin was used to fight infection,
  • and Bell Telephone Laboratories in New York gave the first public demonstration of colour TV: the first images were a bouquet of roses and an American flag.
And there were important (early) developments for the rights of women too:
  • the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council in the UK announced that women were now "persons" under the British North America Acts, and thus eligible for appointment to the Senate of Canada.
But best of all, on 7 March, Fred and Florence Crompton welcomed their new baby son, Dennis, into their family. A baby brother for Hilda, Jean and Fred. Yes indeed!

Dennis Crompton © 2013
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Have you...?

Henri Matisse1869 - 1954Le Bonheur de vivre” (“The Joy of Life”)
Henri Matisse
1869 - 1954
Le bonheur de vivre” (“The joy of life”)

Have you grasped the greatness of your being,
discerned somehow there’s a purpose in your life,
a miracle beyond present comprehension,
been reassured by glimmers of inner light?
*
Have you midst your everyday occupation,
or solitary, on some quiet evening stroll,
been overwhelmed on hearing strains of music
in harmony with a soul-song of your own?
*
Have you been present at birth’s miracle,
heard, as she heard with her Mum, a babe’s first cry;
then later, wondered at her first simple sentence,
new life communicate with her waiting world?
*
Have you experienced the truest joys of friendship,
somewhere on your life’s journeyings,
breaking bread in the company of some stranger,
departing more complete for such time spent?
*
Have you thought on those circumstances manipulated
in this world’s prisons with greater flaws than yours;
seen the world through their dehumanizing barriers,
as cruelly restrained as bars or cold stone walls?
*
Have you had the privilege to be present,
hearing last thoughts of another’s whispered words,
holding their hand, caring and farewelling,
knowing you were a comfort at their end?
*
Have you felt the true worth of your being,
that magic ‘something’ deep within your soul;
that come what may and though your very world
did tremble round you … all would be well?
*
Should this have been your fortunate experience,
then blessed are you, a thousand times I say;
and I pray that now this privileged possession
you’ll somehow share with us of lesser clay.
*
Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Hidden venom

meat cleaver

It was early morning as Tai Woon, Captain of the 12,000 tonne fishing boat Nyanga, stood alone at the helm. He regularly fished this area just off the West coast of Gabon at Libreville where the waters of the Atlantic brought a rich harvest at certain times of the year. Now with the holds full, a little over 36 hours had passed since he’d set a course for home. His spirits were normally high at this stage, but today they were not. His mind was greatly troubled and his heart was heavy. And this time he’d taken the unusual precaution of locking the wheel-house door firmly behind him.

As he stood at the helm, his features, partly illuminated by the greenish-yellow light from the compass, showed something of the tension he was under. Over the last 36 hours his small, uncomplicated world had been invaded as two of his crew had died sudden and violent deaths, most of their bones broken in the grip of some terrible illness. Some of his crew murmured that an evil spirit had entered their bodies and brought about the frenzied convulsions they had witnessed. Whatever it was, or how or when it had found its way aboard, was beyond him and filled him with the utmost dread concerning the safety of his remaining crew and himself.

Since then, some six hours or so had passed without incident. Then suddenly, just twenty minutes ago, Hanson Yen, the second mate, had leapt overboard, foaming at the mouth, his eyes almost bursting from their sockets as he screamed obscenities to the wind and waves before his body sank beneath the murky waters. His insane plunge created a sudden surge of panic amongst them all with Tai Woon hard-pressed to keep control them all.

In the lull that followed he thought over these things as, with cargo heavy and sluggish to the helm, the Nyanga thumped her way through the deepening Atlantic swells. A sudden banging startled him and turning round he saw the face of the Korean cook through the small round window in the top of the wheel house door. With nothing to unduly alarm him, he unlocked the door and accepted the tray of food before locking the door again as the cook set off back to the galley. For the next few minutes Tai Woon was occupied checking map and compass bearings before making a few course corrections when the smell of food reminded him he hadn’t eaten for several hours.

Alarm bells rang in his mind as an unusual taste made him stop his chewing before he spat out what was in his mouth, shoving his fingers down his throat and vomiting the watery contents of his stomach to join the mess on the floor. It was as he drank water from a bottle that he caught sight of the cook’s venomous face glaring at him; his eyes wild and with whitish foam around his mouth he began battering at the door with an iron meat cleaver. Solid as it was it didn’t take long for the wooden door to splinter, and with nothing to defend himself with, Tai Woon retreated to the other side of the small cabin.

The cook, now a raving madman, forced his way through the broken panels and lifting the meat cleaver high above his head moved a step forward, his powerful arm beginning its downward sweep at Tai Woon. Suddenly his feet slipped from under him and he fell back striking his head heavily. The meat cleaver flew from his grasp and Tai Woon was able to see him locked safely away in the hold.

Things returned to normal as he went round the crew and talked to them. Calming them down he made them drink plenty of fresh water before eating a meal of fish and vegetables. The rest of the journey was uneventful and back on shore the port medical officer who checked the cook and inspected the galley explained what had happened. High humidity together with bad storage meant that all the grain foods on board the Nyanga had been contaminated by a variety of dangerous moulds. One mould in particular had caused the terrible sickness which sent three of the crew to their deaths, plus the madness which so strongly gripped the unfortunate Korean cook.

It isn’t surprising therefore, that for many years afterwards, and until his own death, Tai Woo would shudder at the sound of wood being splintered by an axe and would only eat Korean food with a meat cleaver of his own firmly gripped in his sweating hand…

Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Another side

sad man


Oh, but he was handsome,
with his dark eyes,
sparkling teeth,
and ready smile upon his cheeks.
And yes, I kind of envied him.
*
Pommie joker back in 1954,
I, along with others,
soon was settling down,
learning a trade along with Jeff,
saw another side of this man.
*
He was married, with a child,
his wife, good looking, wanted more.
Other guys offered, were accepted.
Jeff became worn and much neglected,
tried so hard to reach his objective.
*
Each day he struggled to maintain
a smiling face, make home a base,
and rumours false, some maybe true,
said she was an angel or a shrew.
*
And oh, I felt so sad for him.
I was not close enough to support him.
Said not a word lest it should throw him.
*
He lost his family and occupation,
then laid with pad between his teeth
was shocked and convulsed as medication.
I saw him sometimes after his therapy,
hardly recognised the shuffling effigy.
Gone were the things I once had coveted,
sadly wondering how this could be tolerated.
And oh it was so sad to see him.
 *
I was quite a young man then,
yet I can't forget my friend.
He had so much of what I wanted,
good looks, dark hair and sparkling teeth,
a lovely child and so-called help-meet.
 *
Dennis Crompton © 1998
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

My brother, Fred, part 2 - A letter to Joyce

A few weeks after my brother Fred died, I wrote this letter to his wife, my sister-in-law, Joyce. It follows on from my previous post 'My brother, Fred'.

P1040018
*
Dear Joyce

Now that a little time has passed since Fred’s death and things will gradually be returning to something like normal for you, here are a few things I would liked to have said to you in person that time and distance didn’t allow.

Fred was always a kind and loving brother, helping me understand and come to grips with various things that happened to us in good times and those not so good through circumstances beyond our control. With sadness and concern he had to leave us in 1942 enlisting in the Royal Navy. Then I did my best to write my letters to him and through my schoolboy efforts I tried hard to express my thoughts to him through those times.

He had a generous heart and always surprised us when he came home on leave carrying kit bags loaded with tinned foods and other things from Canada, something that cheered us during rationing wartime England.
As my brother, we had so little time together, so on my last visit to UK in 2001 he took the opportunity to join me in visiting Southport in search of information about the plans our mother drew for the house built by Dad. We got so close but some obstacle or other prevented us from obtaining copies for our family history. Still, we were together when [your son] Brian drove us around looking at the home Dad built for us in Cottam, and I’m thankful that the nostalgia of that time with Fred by my side is still with me.

That my big brother has had a very happy and contented life with you Joyce as his wife and partner, along with Brian and his family, means so much to me and my family, not forgetting our big sister, Hilda in Preston. I hope these few words will ease things for you as the days come and go for you Joyce.

As I said before, I will miss him more than I can say.

Much love then, from Dennis

Dennis Crompton © 2012
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

My brother, Fred

Fred Crompton 87, Bolton

FRED CROMPTON Obituary
On August 14, 2012, died peacefully at St. Catherine's Hospice aged 88 years. The dearly beloved husband of Joyce, much loved dad of Brian, dear father-in-law of Andrea, and a devoted grandad of Sara. Brother of Hilda, Jean and Dennis. Loved and remembered always.
*
I've written before of our 'fractured childhood', caused through circumstances to my mother and father who had no control over the events that befell them through those Depression years. Dad was doing well building houses, the plans for which my mother drew up. Though Fred and I went in search of those plans at various places, we were unsuccessful. They existed in one place we visited, the storage department of Preston County Council, but for one reason or another we were not able to obtain copies.

In the midst of their success, Florence, the mother I never knew, died of cancer in 1930, twelve months and a few days after I was born.

So of my early years at Cottam with my Mum and Dad, sisters Jean and Hilda and brother Fred I have no remembrance, save for odd pictures in my mind of things told me of those days. That they were happy days I have no doubt, and when Dad and I were alone together a few times I'd ask him quietly, ‘What was my mother like, Dad?’ I so desperately wanted something to give me a picture of her that I could hold on to. Her photograph wasn't enough; one I have shows her seated in the open on a grey kind of day. Poor Dad, he just couldn’t get anything out except, ‘She was a lovely woman and companion, a great cook and mother…’, and tears would fill his eyes and he just couldn’t go on. Soon after that I stopped asking; I could see it caused him too much pain.

When I moved from the infant section in the Shepherd Street Mission Children’s Home to the boy's wing, the first boy to greet me was this big boy with a warm smile and face to match. ‘Hello Dennis, I'm your brother Fred. Remember me?’ I didn't, but I liked him and felt really glad that he was my brother in amongst all those other boys who were strangers to me. He went on to tell me we had two sisters, Hilda and Jean, in the girl's wing, and that our Dad would be in to see us when he could. This was all news to me and I was somewhat bewildered by it, and also by other things I'd been told had happened in the family a few years before. So, from sometime in 1932 until 1936 I was alone in Shepherd Street Mission Children's Home, until I found out I had a family.

My big brother Fred kept an eye on me, and I felt good about that. Then a few weeks after I turned seven, Fred told me quietly that we'd soon be leaving the home and going to our home. His quiet excitement was infectious and I began to feel like a person in my own right, not just one of a whole bunch of boys. We had a Dad who came to see us from time to time, just for an hour or two when his work permitted and he was going to take us to live with him and we'd be a family again. Fred did much to make sense of all of this for me. Then, our time at Longridge, after we left the Children’s Home in 1936, were happy days for us as a family. Though war was brewing in Europe, we lived in peace and for a short while enjoyed a time of good food, a happy home and healthy living together. We had about ten years together before separation again.
Came 1939 and Fred joined the Home Guard. His photograph in uniform of that time shows a young boyish figure.
Fred Crompton 18, Home Guard Uniform
aged 18 years, in Home Guard Uniform
I began to worry that he might have to leave us and go to war as he wasn't called up until 1942. Then, he was sent to join HMS Raleigh, a shore bound Royal Navy station near Portsmouth, I think.  My emotions were in turmoil as I thought of scenes I'd seen of war in some magazines Dad had of WWI, and I dreaded my big brother having to face any of that. He didn't seem too concerned about things; he enjoyed the Royal Navy, the camaraderie and adventure of it all, and came safely through the war to start life again in Preston.

He began to spend more and more time in dancing at the Tower Ballroom, Blackpool, where his blue eyes and dancing feet took him straight to a certain Joyce Hargreaves. They danced a lot there, and I was quite chuffed at him having this delightful young lady to go out with. They married of course, and they married in Blackpool and have had a happy time together ever since with their only son Brian, who is now married to Andrea with their daughter Sara to keep them on their toes. Like me, Fred had a gentle and sensitive nature, which, I like to believe, came from our dear mother.

So this was Fred my brother, I hope some of the qualities that were his have rubbed off on me. I shall miss him more than I can say.

Dennis Crompton © 2012
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Sunday, 17 November 2013

The long goodbye

hiroshima

This was written after reading the article: Up from Ground Zero, by Ted Gup, in the National Geographic, August 1995
 
When someone is bereaved, healing usually comes with the passing of time, or through faith in a religion. For some, grief may mingle with guilt at having survived while loved ones died, resulting in the bereavement being a prolonged and agonising affair. The bereavement of Mrs Shina Sonoda, a widow with four children living in Hiroshima, was to start in 1945.

The facts concerning what happened at Hiroshima at around 8.16 am on 6 August that year are well known. The pictures or films of the awesome destruction from the explosion of an atomic bomb have been seen by all, but we see at a distance; we are remote, not connected, only horrified observers of what we humans can do to each other; our feelings dependent on whether we had loved ones or close friends who suffered through the actions of the Japanese prior to the bomb.

I was in my early teens then and felt the Japanese had brought such disasters on themselves. When I married and became a father my way of thinking changed, often prefaced by the thought: How would I feel if my wife or children were in that position?

In a doctor’s waiting room recently I read an item about Hiroshima, which brought a personal aspect to the bombing, it went like this …

The air raid siren had sounded the All Clear as Mrs Sonoda’s daughter; Akiko again pleaded for the tin of tangerines to be opened, which her mother had promised she would open after an air raid sometime soon. Shima smiled as she gave her a hug: Not this time, Akiko, she said quietly. A few seconds later the bomb exploded reducing the city to a pile of rubble aglow with deadly radiation. Over 80,000 people died instantly with another 60,000 dead within the next 12 months.
As I read, the father part of me imagined I was there with my family. It was devastatingly real. I could see it! At the same time I recalled Winston Churchill, Britain’s Prime Minister at that time quoting Hosea, a prophet in the Old Testament:
‘They have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.’
Nothing humans can do can stop a whirlwind, we can only wait until it has passed, pick up the pieces and start again.

I imagined Shima in the midst of all that horror after the bomb. I saw her as a mother, ignoring her own needs, sobbing and searching frantically for Akiko. I heard her moans of disbelief and horror at the utter madness of our civilisation, wondering why everything all around her had been destroyed, yet she had survived and Akiko had not. All that remained was the image of her daughter in her mind.

Of course I could never really know what it was like for Mrs Sonoda, but as I read I did know that I could have been born Japanese. My name could have been Sonoda, then I would have been as they, thought and acted as they.

I read on. Tormented because she hadn’t found Akiko, she also deeply regretted that she hadn’t opened the tin of tangerines; it was such a simple last request after all. From that time on she knelt every morning at her Buddhist shrine. With her prayer she offered a tin of tangerines for the soul of Akiko and with the prayers her grief was eased a little each day.

Close to the dome of twisted steel and concrete, the picture most of us have of Hiroshima is the Peace Memorial Museum. The basement houses an index, each card detailing someone who died as a result of the bombing.

Ted Gup who brought the story of Shima Sonoda to light asked to see Akiko’s card. It records that Yoshiharo Agari was the one who found her crushed body. The card had been there for years. I don’t know if Mrs Sonoda ever went there to see those details, or ever will. If she does, her long goodbye may end at last in the city which is now called Peace.

Dennis Crompton © 1995
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

The silver pen award

pen
To look at ordinary, everyday me, nothing outwardly would reveal that I am a chappie who’s won a Silver Pen Award for writing. Yes!…at the local writers group I go to. I knew it would happen one day and the thing is I hadn’t intended to go this month. I mean, the time’s going on as they talk about all manner of things and I’m sitting there with several newly hatched items to try out on them. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve said to myself, ‘I’m not going anymore’. But they’re such an interesting bunch you see. It’s been almost eighteen months since my first tentative venture into their slightly off-centre literary circle. Most of them have been writing for years, even contributed to a booklet they’d had printed. ‘Looking back’, it’s called.

Well at the last meeting my name came up as winner. I tried to look suitably surprised and happy. The lady seated next to me became more friendly than usual, chatting and smiling as she handed me the award. The little box was the worse for wear, held together with sticky tape. You don’t keep the award you see, it’s brought back each month to compete for again. The point is to encourage folk to write; makes sense really.

I had a feeling about the item I’d written; maybe this time, that sort of thing. I wore one of my better shirts for the evening, and my nice blue pants. They’re rather tight in places now but go well with the shirt. And what’s a little discomfort when you’re in exalted company? More discomfort actually. Anyway, I kidded myself that the award, plus the dab or two of after-shave, and dare I say it, my tight pants assisted in the chummy closeness of the lady member I mentioned earlier. A rather quiet chap sat on the other side, well up with the play though with his witty sense of humour, and I was looking at him and wishing he’d surprise everyone; blow his top and let everything out, literary-ily speaking that is.

So here’s me holding this pen in its sticky box, finding out it’s not silver and feeling just a bit deflated. I can’t really go home to my wife and brag about winning a Silver Pen Award that’s not silver, can I? Then I asked the chummy lady how the award came about and was interested in what she told me. It seems that one of our company had been in a serious plane crash some years ago, came out unharmed but with a feeling of, ‘I’m still alive…what do I do with my life now?’ She decided she should write about some of her experiences, because as she saw things now, material things don’t, and can’t, say anything; they just get rusty or mouldy and finish up as dust. If she’d been killed at that time, what was there of herself that she’d like her family to remember? So she started writing, putting down her thoughts and opinions, things she liked or didn’t so that when she’d gone and folks asked what she was liked, instead of just showing them photos of her they could show them things she’d written. Then she bought this pen, took it to the next meeting, told them her story and the pen has gone from writer to writer since.

I guess we’ll never know how much down-to-earth stuff of life has been preserved in groups such as ours. Great idea of the lady who survived don’t you think? A Silver Pen Award! Yeah!

Dennis Crompton © 1996
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Oh! Mother! Mother!

grief

This story is based on a true event that happened when I lived in Longridge. I'd returned from school one day when I heard the sound of someone running past our door and into next door, then the sudden, sad crying of one of the girls who lived there, calling out, “Oh Mother, Mother come quick our Elsie's been killed!” A few minutes’ later two sets of feet ran back down the street and I was left in silence with those terribly sad words ringing in my ears, knowing that I was the first to hear of the tragedy, I was about eight or nine at the time.

There was nothing out of the ordinary as far as the funeral of young Patrick O'Dowd was concerned. On the outside anyway. The usual kind of people turned up at the church, where flowers, brought and arranged by Mrs Kelly and Miss O'Leary, did their best to brighten up the quiet deadness of the building, but failed. And the candlelight flickering here and there, uplifting usually, had lost all semblance of cheeriness this time, while the daylight, filtered as it was through the grime on the windows, did nothing to lighten the darkness within, stained glass or not.

The physical gloom added to the mental gloom the congregation felt, which was to be expected at a funeral, naturally. Still, there was rarely much of the joy of life exhibited by those who came regularly to worship here. They reserved that for before and after attendance, as if the God they worshipped would be offended had they shown any light-heartedness in His house. Not that I am one to judge. Sure I'd never had to live as they had. It's merely an observation you understand.

The altar boy, Rory O'Flynn, with the gap in his front teeth which proved irresistible to everyone who saw him outside the church, making them smile when he smiled, was not in a smiling mood right now. His face had taken on the appearance of one of the so-called saints depicted on the leaflets for sale in the rack by the church door. A shame for one so young. While Liam Grady, the other altar boy with the limp, caused by being dropped by his drunken father at age three, was as white-faced and as close to tears as his friend Rory. Both were sad. I mean really sad, more than they'd ever been before. Now the two of them were wondering how they'd cope when the coffin of their school friend, from the third form of St. Mary's Catholic School was brought in and set on the gurney where they could see it. Funerals they'd attended before and coffins they'd seen before but not one containing the body of their friend, Pat. And if the Hail Mary's ascending to God from both their young innocent lips and hearts with such intensity could have brought young Patrick back from the dead, sure he'd have been standing there with them in the church before they'd opened their brimming eyes.

The priest, Father James Boland, as genuine and sincere a man of the cloth as one could hope to meet, believed he had everything in order as he knelt in prayer in the room behind the altar. He'd always felt a special closeness to God in these moments and believed that his ministry at these times would be blessed, despite his failings of which he had many. This time it was different. This time he knew he could not conduct the service in the usual way. This time something was tearing at his heart forcing him to struggle with his beliefs.

Most of the funerals he'd conducted in the past had been for those who'd lived their lives. They'd had their choices and chances. Run the gamut of life's experiences as much as they'd been able in their small town, never extending themselves beyond the norm of the working class. They'd seen and heard nothing that one might term special, or recognised some latent God-given ability within themselves and then dared to do something about it. Isn't it a fact now that such folk need a voice outside them prompting, urging, suggesting they launch out into the deeps like those early fishermen on Lake Galilee? Get out beyond their depth sometimes and test themselves and their faith? Father Boland owned such a voice. And God knows he'd tried to get his flock to think on such things.

He felt so sorrowful right now. Ah, dear God! Hadn't young Patrick O'Dowd been one loaded with possibilities? Sure enough, he had. He'd talked about it with Patrick, and glory be, had seen the light dawn in his sparkling clear eyes just a few days back. Laughed with him at the breathless excitement that had seized hold of the lad as he'd begun to grasp the secrets and the principles of mathematics and physics he'd shown to him. Bless his heart, here, in this very church. What could he have done for himself and others had he but lived?

And the dear man put his head in his hands and wept as he had never wept before. In his mind the voice of the O'Dowd's next door neighbour telling him how Patrick's mother heard the news of her son's death. He'd been home that day when he'd heard the clatter of feet on the footpath outside. They'd stopped and he'd heard the brief sound of a youthful whimpering to be followed by such a frantic knocking until the door opened, and before Mrs O'Dowd could open her mouth, the youth was crying, “Oh! come quick, Mrs O'Dowd. Your Patrick's been killed!”

And then the awful silence. How long must it have been for the poor woman, he thought, before the realisation hit home. And he knelt there and heeded not the hot tears running unchecked down his cheeks. How utterly useless he'd felt as he'd hurried to their home, to pause outside as he considered what he could offer the family at such a dreadful time. Offer them what? Prayers? Words of comfort? Advice? For the love of God, wasn't it Mrs O'Dowd herself who'd comforted him? No wonder Father Boland wrestled with his soul and his beliefs.

Later, when everything had been done that could be done this side of the grave, Father Boland sat with his superior, Father Michael Poole, and while the older man listened, unburdened his soul in the matter of why the innocent die young. And if the truth were known, wasn't that a question Father Poole still asked himself, even after all the years he'd been a priest?

The answer came a few weeks later, as Father Boland sat hearing confessions. A man had entered, not of the Catholic faith, who told of the comfort he'd received sitting at the back of the church. “I don't know what you fellows go on about down there at the altar. I'm sure you all mean well. But there's something about a dedicated place like this being set apart from all other buildings. Something about shutting everything else out, being quiet and letting God speak for a change. We may not know all the answers to the questions that fill our minds, so I just think of the colour purple and of our Saviour, and leave everything with Him.”

And that's what he'd said to Mrs O'Dowd as he'd gone round to see her after the man had left. He was renewed in his faith, and from that time on, where he could he awakened folk to the possibilities that lay within themselves.

Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)