Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Mindful be

cemetery

Again, youth's had its terrible fling,
reckless, carefree, bubbling thing,
now streams of cars flow through the town,
head for the plot in cemetery ground.
*
If only young eyes could have seen,
felt the hopeless sorrowing,
known the grief and felt the pain,
of friends and family by the grave.
*
The preacher says what he has to say,
but you don't answer, you've gone away,
left us here to weep and sigh,
to remember you as years crawl by.
*
Young life's a wild, tempestuous thing,
trying out its fledgling wings,
careless, free, racing to and fro,
seeking all there is to know.
*
Now its finished at least for you,
we who are left, we grieve for you,
robbed of your warm personality, we
learn how fleeting is our humanity.
*
In that, you may not have died in vain,
a warning giving to those who remain,
life is a precious, quicksilver thing,
contained in a mortal, disposable frame.
*
Enjoy by all means what freely abounds,
of life in your family and all that surrounds,
mindful please be, if tragically finished,
we who remain will be sadly diminished.
*
Dennis Crompton © 1995

Thursday, 21 November 2013

Andorf's journey

I once went to a writer’s workshop with a woman called Rene, in Cambridge, a small town an hour’s drive from where I live, attended by eight or so writers from the district. Rene opened her session by asking us to jot down anything that we hadn’t thought of writing about before, just short headings to get our imaginations going. Fifteen minutes later, several of us were asked to speak briefly about our topic, I was one who volunteered among two others.

Andorf’s journey is the finished item, started at that workshop:

brother and sister

Andorf’s heart was lighter now that the village was behind them, hoping he’d done the right thing. So many people were dying because of the plague and although it had not yet reached his village, it soon would. His sister, Claire, was not strong but she seemed to be managing all right as they made their journey to another village, considered safer, as it was less frequented by travellers likely to bring the disease from other parts. He looked at Claire again and told her they’d have another rest when they reached the next mile stone.
As they walked his mind thought about the healer, and he seized on that positive thought, held it, wanting to explore and maybe even experience some of the things he’d heard about him. He’d guessed that much was exaggerated, but found it absorbing.

‘Oh … the healer’, a pedlar had replied to his question, ‘Oh yes, he’s a wonder is that man. You know he washes himself … every day!’

Strange, doing that, Andorf thought; still there must be something to it. Then he smiled as he recalled somebody adding, ‘Then there’s the kind of stuff he eats. I don’t know that I could eat nettles. Fancy that. Just the tops mind you.’ And then just a few days ago, he heard an old woman explaining the things she’d seen the healer collect from the woods one day.

Andorf paused to remove a piece of gravel from his sandal and noticed with some concern that Claire had dropped behind as they’d been walking. ‘It’s all right … just a bit out of breath. Give me a few minutes …’ she murmured softly, trying to smile as she looked at him. She was looking quite tired thought Andorf, and he felt a tugging at his throat as a sudden fear came upon him. We still have another seven and a half miles to go and it’s well past noon day, he thought. Perhaps we should have waited a few more days for her to gain more strength. But he knew as he thought that, that it wasn’t true. She came only because I insisted, he chastised himself. If she dies on the way … and he couldn’t prevent a slight sob escaping from his tight lips. As their eyes met, he coughed to hide his embarrassment and gently helped her to her feet.

They walked the rest of the way together, his arm around his sister’s waist and as they reached the next mile stone, they left the road and found a place for her to sit and rest again. Now it was only seven miles but as he looked at his sister again a sudden rush of deep concern quickened his pulse, her face was quite pale and there was a touch of beauty there now that he had not seen before, of such depth and quality, surpassing even those in the pictures on the stained-glass windows in the abbey. Then he was suddenly afraid for her and turned away lest she should see the sadness on his face.

After a while they continued slowly on past two, and then three, more mile stones, joined by others heading in the same direction. Claire was heavier on his arm now, her strength slipping away with each step. The state of the road was no help, with deep ruts filled with filthy water which they had to wade through as there was no way round them. Occasionally they’d come to a grove of trees where it was cool and refreshing and the desire to linger and rest was so inviting. But Andorf was afraid to stop, even when they came to a number of hamlets, wretched dilapidated places where people were so poor it made his heart heavy just to look at them. He blinked away the tears that seeped down into his eyes, increasing the anguish he felt for Claire, so frail and still so beautiful. Her quiet spirit and light infectious laughter had often been the cause of lifting him from some wearisome task, it would break his heart if … and he would not let himself think on but knelt down pretending to retie the thong on his left sandal to give him a moment to recover his composure. How dirty his feet were now and the nail on his big toe …then with a sudden panic he heard a low moan from Claire and turning saw her slump to her knees, her eyes staring and wide open before he could reach her, frightened him.

From one of the doors to his right the figure of a middle-aged woman came running to kneel beside Claire before he could get to his feet, she was talking quietly to her. Then even as he reached her side Claire looked at him, smiled, then closed her eyes as her head fell back onto the woman’s arms. For a moment Andorf couldn’t move, his feet and legs did not respond to his purpose to move, his voice locked within his tightening chest and he felt as if his heart would burst … and that moment seemed so very long. It ended with him feeling weak and empty as if his knees would suddenly give way beneath him as slowly but clearly Andorf knew. Something had gone from his sister, Claire. She was now an empty shell and void of life and in that dread moment, he changed from youth to man.

Somehow it passed and he left the darkness of that scene behind him, the road to the monastery seemed to lift his spirit with each step, as if some purpose for which he had been born was about to be fulfilled. He wondered how things would be for him in such a place and felt again the note inside his doublet, written by the priest who had told him of the healer and his work. Reassured, he continued on his way even though he knew only a handful of novices were taken in each year, now looking cold and forbidding in the distance.
The rising sun soon warmed him as he climbed the hill and knocked at last upon the heavy oaken door. Later that afternoon he was taken in to see the healer, who looked at him for some time before he spoke: ‘Well Andorf, you would like to join our Brotherhood then? Sit down now and tell me something about yourself.’ The voice was quiet and soothing, filled with warmth and encouragement; then the healer listened as Andorf told him of his journey.

Dennis Crompton © 1999
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Maritime hero: my half-brother, Harold Crompton

Empire_Javelin_1-290x181

My half-brother, Harold Crompton, was an engineering officer on board the Empire Javelin in 1944, and has given me his account of the moment the torpedoes struck to him regaining consciousness; then his helping in the rescue of U.S. men trapped below after the explosion. His informing the crew of the Free French L'Escarmouche and the men's rescue by the French sailors who using acetylene torches, cut through deck plating to free the men below. 

I have his voice tape of this event, though not of good quality due to his being partly gassed while anchored in Bari harbour, Italy when German planes bombed and destroyed many ships, with 'General Harvey' I think carrying mustard gas exploded resulting in much loss of life. 
Here is my written version of his recording, after removing coughing, a mixed version of popular songs Harold plays in the background, and repetitions where he forgets what he's already explained. 

December 28, 1944, Harold Crompton, Maintenance engineer (Plumber) had just washed two collars from his shirts (they were detachable in those days for easy washing) and had pressed them onto the mirror above the hand basin in his cabin to dry when there was a terrific explosion and he was knocked unconscious for a short time. He came to to find himself on his knees with his chin resting on the basin in complete darkness, with a heavy weight on his back holding him down and realized his cupboard was the cause. He was able to push it away and by opening his porthole cleared the smoke in his cabin and made his way up on deck and whilst talking to a couple of officers standing looking out into distance saw a corvette heading towards them. He also heard voices from one of the large horns which directed fresh air into the lower parts of the ship; some American servicemen were trapped in the propeller shaft housing and needed rescuing.

Harold made his way down to an inspection plate over the shaft which was only large enough for a man's head. Harold shone his torch into the shaft and saw three or four soldiers there. He told them he'd do his best to get them out and made his way back on deck by which time the Free French L'Escarmouche was alongside and he called out to some Americans on board that some of their guys were trapped below and needed cutting gear to get free them. Some French sailors went below and came back with huge coils of piping and metal cutting gear which they took below, and after explaining to the trapped soldiers that they needed to keep back a little, commenced cutting the deck plating to enlarge the hole.

L'Escarmouche_1944_IWM_FL_4094
L'Escarmouche 1944
Harold by this time had a splitting headache and was given some medication which made him drowsy and was taken to the sick bay by the sailors where he fell asleep for some hours. He learned later that all the soldiers were rescued a little time before the Empire Javelin was again torpedoed and sank below the waves.
Harold's memory had been affected by the explosion and couldn't remember what details about himself he gave when he joined the Merchant Navy in Liverpool; consequently I have not been able to verify officially his status on board Empire Javelin. A pity, as his health had already been affected during a German bombing raid at Bari Harbour in Italy in 1942, when an American ship carrying mustard gas blew up causing many deaths and injuring others severely for the rest of their lives.

Harold also told me a little about the Bedford Boys who were ferried by landing craft to the beaches at Omaha from the Empire Javelin.


Dennis Crompton © 2013

Initially published at: www.maritimequest.com on this page :  www.maritimequest.com/warship_directory/great_britain/pages/amphibious/pages/empire_javelin_1944_harold_cromptons_story.htm
Read also: www.mybestyears.com/ARCHIVES/WWR/2-021507SelmanEvans.html, the story of Mr J V Selman who was a US sailor also onboard the Empire Javelin when it was torpeoded. Also published at www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Talking stones

stones

One visitor moved away, wandered out through the gate, down the street and into the countryside. She found a hollow in a field, sat down and looked around. Gradually the occasional hum of insects and twittering of birds gave way to a quietness which eased the tension inside her. At some point her fingers found a stone in the loose soil at her feet. She picked it up and gazed at it. Slowly, as if a curtain was opening somewhere in her mind, it seemed to speak, linking her with an event that happened there in the past.

It was just a suggestion, she reasoned at first, trying to ignore the prickly feeling in her eyes; but the suggestion persisted and eventually, with flushed cheeks and tightening throat her emotions took over. Even as she fumbled for her handkerchief, low cries bubbled up from deep inside, a few tears followed, glistening as they trickled down her cheeks before the dam burst and a kind of healing took place in the flood. When it had finished she looked again at the stone before lifting her eyes to look around, and like watching a scene in a play, this is what she came to understand:
Jim could hardly believe his luck. Three years now since he'd left home. Home! How eagerly he'd left. Nearly didn't though, after his father embraced him. He could still see his face and hear his voice struggling to say, “I'll probably never see you again, son.” That was true. His Dad had died two years later. Still, lots of Canadian lads found themselves in the same position. He’d done a lot of growing up since then.

He'd been looking forward to Christmas, still over five weeks away, but today ... well, it was different ... with his thoughts centred on himself, he'd become vividly aware that he was a person in a way he had never felt before. It started that very morning. He was more than the body he inhabited, but why had he come to that knowledge now? And in his mind, he thought perhaps a new beginning was being offered to him. He felt the tension ease from his mind and body and smiled, feeling more like the young man he still was. Some of his mates called him 'dreamer'. “You'll still be dreaming when it's all over,” they'd said. Many of them were dead heroes now.

He stared ahead as he thought of them, then looked again. That's odd, he thought, it seemed like he was looking at a photograph. What he saw was real and yet nothing moved. Not a cloud, wing, leaf or single blade of grass. All was still. It was the same behind him, he knew without turning round. He made himself pause in his thinking and breathed deeply and slowly, only then did he realize how tense he'd been.

He glanced at his watch. Another four minutes and he'd have a break. Then over to his right something unbelievable happened. A couple of young girls appeared, and after all the other sounds he'd heard, their happy chatter drifted across to him, sounding like the song of angels. Slowly they came nearer, hampered by the debris in their path but waving bunches of flowers in the air and calling out to him. Alarmed now, he was about to shout a warning when others appeared. More young people with a scattering of elderly folk behind . They were calling too, some with flags or flowers in their hands others with bottles of wine. Jim knew then that it must be true.

For a moment he was torn between excitement and dread, then he glanced again at his watch: 10.57am. Three minutes to go until break time, he murmured, saddened and yet happy as the faces of his dead mates came and went with each step the young girls took towards him. Something burst from his throat, a mixture of sobs and laughter. It was bloody well true! The war ... it would end at 11am today, they said!

Smiling now, Jim watched as the girls arrived safely, thanked them for the flowers, and kissed their innocent faces. Then turned once more to face the firing line, as he laughed and waved the flowers in the air, the sharp crack of a rifle shot cut through the air and in the silence that followed, he crumpled to the ground. That one single shot, fired by a German sniper gave Jim an ending and a new beginning. Just two minutes before the declared Armistice on the 11th of November, 1918, a private from Canada was the last soldier to be killed in the Great War.
All fell quiet again, but now she felt a peace within her as she placed the stone back on the soil of Belgium. Some little time later, a voice broke through her thoughts: “I beg your pardon Mrs Price. I hope I didn't startle you.” It was the leader of their tour group. She shook her head without looking at him. “We'll be having lunch in half an hour or so. There's no rush though, perhaps you'd like to stay here a little longer?”

Again she just nodded. She didn't need to say anything. He'd seen it before and waited for a moment or two before turning to leave, then he said, “Not too lonely on your own then?'”

“No,” she said. “In a way, the stones have been talking to me.” This time looking up at him she added, “I suppose that sounds strange?”

“Not at all. Quite a number of folk have said the same kind of thing on these tours. When they do, they don't seem to have the need to come back again. After all, these are the Shalom tours. Shalom, Mrs Price.”

armistice

Dennis Crompton © 1998
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

A time of remembrance


war

He’d been married three years, was enjoying life with his wife and daughter, everything was going well for them…and then the war broke out. He tried to ignore the inevitable and get on with life, together with his family but knew he’d have to leave them in the end. He was just a country lad who loved the land and animals, not up with politics and such; he just wanted - well - to be left alone and to be with his family.

Of course that couldn’t be, not with his country at war; he was a man and was expected to fight. It didn’t matter where he went, there was always something to remind him; flags flying, patriotic posters in prominent places, men and women in uniform; that and the questions folk asked, without even speaking when they saw him.

His heart was heavy; something seemed to warn him not to go; on his own sometimes he’d get a kind of a premonition, though he wasn’t superstitious. A voice, warm and proud whispering, ‘You’re going to be a hero. You’ll get a medal!’ Then a different voice, cold and matter of fact, taunted, ‘Because you’re one of those warm and sensitive types, you have to realise some things; those you leave behind; those who order you to go and those who train you, won’t have to see you shoot your rifle, use your bayonet as you advance, screaming your insane head off; and in the state you’ll be in after that, well, it’s best you don’t come back. You can see that, can’t you? But then, your country will be proud of you; you’ll be a hero!’

Of course he slept badly, waking often, imagining himself staring at his own gravestone; his name standing out amongst row upon regimental row of others, neat and trim and: ‘Ready for inspection! Sir!’
...
Whether they accomplished anything by their visits to the cemetery at Cape Helles, would be hard to say; but his beloved and his daughter placed fresh flowers on the small white slab beneath his name plate each time they went. Like all wives and family members after such visits, they both left feeling drained and unutterably sad, hating the stupid waste of it all. They left heartaches and tears as well, but you can’t record those, can you?
*
A fellow member of the Returned Services Association told me this story after he’d been to take a photograph of the battlefield where the Turkish soldier and the R.S.A. chap’s friend, a Kiwi solider, fell and died. It was through one of those strange coincidences life throws up at you sometimes, that he came to know this chap’s wife and daughter and they established a firm friendship. They met in that Turkish cemetery that day and took a photograph of his grave. The inscription read simply: ‘Private Talat Demisar, aged 22 years. He did his duty’.

And from a short distance away, the haunting strains of the Last Post hung in the quiet air as the three of them remembered, together.

Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Becoming a father changed all that...



Unidentified girls, Spanish Civil War
Unidentified girls, Spanish Civil War
My friend, Robert asked me one day,
What did Hiroshima mean to you as a young man?’
 *
Well … nothing really, I’d never thought much about it, I said,
back then in 1945, I was only fifteen and patriotic,
I mean, I saw around me bomb damaged houses,
streets of them and lots of temporarily bomb-shocked humans, vacant-eyed …
scrambled-minded wrecks shuffling along the streets of my home town.
I heard the pilot-less flying bomb one night, its engine suddenly quiet overhead,
felt my heart thumping loudly in that sudden … very frightening silence
I hear it yet at times and if I should perchance forget,
I can Google it onto my computer screen - if I wish…
 *
Ground Zero for Hiroshima, August of that same year …
Oh yes! They reaped Churchill’s promised whirlwind
and that was fine by me.
 *
Becoming a father changed all that, it sure changed me…
it gave Hiroshima a meaning, a meaning that was thrust upon me one day
when I imagined my daughters there, back then, and thankfully
I’d lost my soul-destroying callowness…
 *
Now I’m part of that history, have changed, am changing now
with still more to come …
so in a way, Hiroshima had a point,
for all of us, I’d say.
 *
Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

A peculiar swing of the pendulum

Pendulum clock conceived by Galileo Galilei around 1637. The earliest known pendulum clock design, it was never completed. (Wikipedia)
Pendulum clock conceived by Galileo Galilei around 1637, but never completed. (Wikipedia)
Quite a number of city folk look on me with something akin to pity when I tell them that I live in the country, especially when I mention the name of the town. Odd really as many came from similar situations themselves. Some faces soften: those who've made it financially; or those in the process and who plan to return; those who get out of the rat race and come back into the peace and calm of the rural scene…which is a fiction really. The pendulum can swing from tranquillity to disaster just as easily in country districts as in the cities. It did in my town.

The bank's still there but not the blood stains. They went with the blue carpet and some of the fittings ripped out during the alterations afterwards. Working in the district forensic laboratory for some years I'd processed photographs and items of many crimes. I've seen what bullets can do to a human body when delivered at very close quarters. It was horrific what one bullet did to the victim who survived.

Understandable, then, that customers and bank staff required counsellors to assist them and members of the police and St John's Ambulance to cope with it all. They did their best but some things can't be altered. Not with counselling. Not with the passing of time, not even when the sun shines, when the streets are peaceful or when people pass their daily lives with the appearance of quiet assurance. Ask those affected on that day and they'll tell you that a recurring nudge from their subconscious reminds them of the peculiar swing of the pendulum.

Before 'that day' everything about the bank had suggested permanence: the quietness within its solid structure; the carpet soft underfoot; the neat uniforms of the staff; and the calm appearance of the manager. It was the same each day of the week. You could bank on it, as the saying goes. This section of the counter was for the ordinary public, that section for business people with their canvas bags of cheques and cash, and over there was for other business and where you made enquires. Folk who'd ‘made it’ ordered their travellers cheques and foreign currency there, all smiles and quietly confident in possession of their wealth. A great time for them to be alive and with further excitements just around the corner. (Further excitement. Yes indeed.)

Each locality has its quota of odd people of varying ages, backgrounds and persuasion adding their distinctive flavour, even a richness of one kind or another. In our town there was a woman, some called a medium, who could be counted on to say or do something beyond the norm during the different phases of the moon. On this day, when no one could have guessed how she knew, her voice urgent and insistent said there was a foulness and smell of death in the air. Then, in the same breath, likened it to the horde of pests awaiting release from Pandora's box. She was going on about innocent people being shot when the young receptionist put the phone down. ‘I thought it was a hoax,’ she sobbed later, when the editor heard about it.

But by then it was too late.

An unusual kind of excitement was brooding in the kitchen of the home of the Bowden family, not far out of town that day. It coincided exactly with the phone call from the medium to the local press. At the Bowden house, Scott's mother was sick to her stomach. Her son's normally warm personality had changed, with an abruptness that sent her reeling. Breakfast had been bad enough, she just couldn't do anything right for him. It was more than just a bad temper, it was the mood changes that began to cause her serious concern.
Then, about mid-morning she'd said something that tipped the scales the wrong way and the air became heated with tension. It was a great pity, but understandable when the facts became known. At a friend's place the night before his drinks had been spiked, for laughs apparently. Whatever the substance was, it set in motion an outrage that filled many people with horror and despair, especially the parents of teenagers. The fools who'd wanted a few laughs, if they got them, was actually the one responsible for the deaths and heartbreaks that followed.

The change began in the early hours of the following morning, Scott struggling with his fuddled mind trying to make sense of what was happening to him. Waves of panic and alarm sent him rushing into bursts of wild activity, little of it balanced or coherent before gradually becoming quiet again. A quietness which progressed to an unnatural icy coolness suggestive of a mind teetering on the brink of insanity. He'd left the house by the time his mother had called him for lunch, and she hesitated a while before phoning the police to tell them of her concerns. Her recorded message was played back two hours later.

Junior bank teller, Grant Haskell, was a spirited young man, who possessed along with his good looks a bubbling kind of personality which most people, especially other teens, found attractive. He also had considerable potential which the bank was keen to nurture. Scott Bowden knew Grant. They'd played basket-ball and been on the same school camps together. They were friends but not close friends. Yet two witnesses were convinced he'd shown no recognition of Grant as Scott had rested the barrel of the rifle on the counter. They saw him survey the bank staff, their eyes mesmerised by the rifle moving backwards and forwards in an arc in front of them. They'd watched as Grant moved slowly from behind the counter, attempting a smile in the hope Scott would recognise him and stop the madness.

As Grant opened his mouth to speak to Scott, the barrel of the rifle wavered slightly up and to the left. The crack of the shot stunned everyone and they all said how, in a kind of slow motion, they watched in disbelief as the bullet entered just below Grant’s jaw to come out a fraction of second later by the side of his left eye. Just before Grant crumpled to the ground, there was a moment when the skin and bone in between burst open and a gaping hole pumping with blood appeared in the side of his face. Moments after the blast, Scott appeared to regain a brief semblance of normality but still he gunned down a customer and a bystander outside who'd tried to prevent him leaving. He was caught, tried and sentenced.

Our laboratory supplied the evidence at the trial, establishing that a drug found on the premises of one of the party-goers was the same as that found in Scott's brain at the post mortem. The two deaths in our small town and one bank teller dreadfully disfigured was news-worthy for a while. You're probably thinking, 'I've heard it all before', except it didn't end there; there was another peculiar swing to this particular pendulum.

At a manager’s meeting, the local bank manager, Mr Reginald Naylor, felt that reconstructive plastic surgery to Grant Haskell's face would be a constant reminder of the murder and therefore offensive to some people who relied on the bank. The general feeling was it would be better for Grant to be away from it all, and they left Mr Naylor to sort it out from there. It might have helped if he'd talked to Grant, however, as Grant had the potential to rise well above his own position. Mr Naylor felt that just wouldn’t be right. To give himself time to sort things out, he gave Grant a month's paid leave, after his long spell in hospital and reconstructive surgery, and he made his plans.

The letter was on his desk when Grant, almost restored to his former identity but with horrific signs on the suffering he had endured still evident, returned from the hospital and his extended leave. He was warmly welcomed back by his colleagues who had been regular visitors to him throughout his rehabilitation. Grant had been and integral part of the bank team, even as a junior teller, and the bank had always stressed the importance of that. They'd had regular get-togethers, week-end seminars, a mixture of intensive lectures and fun-times to achieve that end, and they'd succeeded. Loyalty to each other went hand in hand with loyalty to the bank. So you can understand what Grant thought of loyalty when he opened the letter terminating his employment.

Some weeks later, Gwyneth White's dog attracted her attention to a patch of bush on her family farm. It was the body of Grant; it was presumed he'd gone missing in the bush not long after receiving his termination letter. Searchers had given up after several extended sweeps of the area failed to find evidence of him being there, and yet there he was, not far from his home town.

Now what will happen at the next swing of the pendulum do you think?

Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

A bruised reed

sad woman



This is written about my older sister, Jean.
*
In the strongest metal there’s a point that’s weak
when fatigue or constant grinding tension
slowly drains the soul out of the metal
dissipating whatever strength is left.
 *
She was strong, could face up to situations almost overpowering
but underneath, inside, the daily battles took their toll.
I, her brother, close enough to advise her
could not prevent his hold over her;
she later married this head and feet of clay.
 *
Oh, it was fine at first, displaying supposed married love;
alas his strength was in his arm, not in his head, and
as a brute drunkenly abused, a bruised reed did make her;
until she finally left, that old so sad and familiar story.
 *
I went to see him, angry yet quite in fear of him one day,
he towering above me listened as I talked him down to size.
I threatened him and even as I trembled I took strength,
for he was near weeping as I warned him not to offend again.
 *
Later, travelling with her on a late night bus,
I sensed some vital spark had been submerged or lost,
still tried to comfort, reassure, suggesting
the future still held promise, that not all was lost.
 *
I wondered then, how such men could answer to that name,
to use their strength to subjugate a weaker frame;
from liquid daily his false courage drew,
his mates joined in and so the monster grew.
 *
Her hair is white now, her step less firm,
her heart still beats, and though oft the memory stirs …
around her feet, her offspring brighten up her day,
all was not lost to so-called manhood on that wedding day.
*
Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

My lone search

rings

It was a cold December day when I walked from the bus stop towards the church where my mother and father were married. St. Nicholas’s church was about five minutes’ walk from the bus stop and I had to walk briskly to keep warm. I’d made the journey from New Zealand back to England in search of my family history, particularly about my mother who had died when I was a baby, and who I had never known.

It took me some time to find the vicar who was on his way out of the vicarage to visit a parishioner. He was very helpful however, as he opened up two safes and left me to it. The Banns, Marriages and Death Registers kept me busy for some time as I was really keen to find my mother’s signature in the Marriage register. Seeing it, I thought, would help to give me a clearer image of the mother I never knew.

I found it, and I treasured the opportunity to see it. It was more than enough to see that, and to have walked up the path and into the church, down the aisle to the front, where I imagined my Mum and Dad holding hands, and gazing into each other’s eyes. They would have been hearing the words I heard then in my head:
“Whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder”
…and no man did. Instead, death came and took her away, and separated them forever.

It was years later before I quietly asked my father when were alone one day: ‘Dad, what was my mother really like?’

I’d asked him a couple of times before but he could get no further than saying wistfully, and with emotion, ‘She was a lovely, warm-hearted woman, Den; we were soul-mates…’ and he could get no further as his eyes filled up…

I stopped asking after that, as I could see that it distressed him so. But it distressed me too for I longed to know more of the mother who had loved me; the mother I never knew. That day in December though I’d gained a little more for my mind’s picture. I’d been in that church, seen their signatures together, stood where they stood, and some years later I was able to get a copy of their Marriage Certificate.

As I left the church, the vicarage was closed and I had nowhere to leave the keys entrusted me by the vicar. I would loved for him to have been there to chat with me about the history that linked me to his church. I walked back across the main road to a school, which was probably the church school and found two or three people in the staffroom. After introducing myself, I gave them the keys and then because I was so very cold I requested a cup of coffee. They were very happy to oblige, offered me a seat and some biscuits too, and were keen to ask me about New Zealand and hear about the reason for my journey.

It was almost 1.30 p.m. as I left to walk back to the bus stop. The grey skies and the penetrating cold, combined with the fact that I was on my own made it easier to leave. St Nicholas Church records, otherwise I may have stayed there forever, connected slightly to my mother.

And I offer my thanks to the vicar for the willingness to assist me and to entrust his valuable records and keys to me. He had helped me in the search for my own identity, for which I am most grateful.

Dennis Crompton © 1998
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Places

4 leaf

In that small cottage over there,
I first saw the light of day.
 *
Up that dark and cobbled street,
awful demons I did meet.
 *
In that schoolyard I met Alfred;
he could pee two inches higher.
 *
In that schoolroom I did learn
the wonders of the written word.
 *
In this ear did a schoolgirl whisper:
come closer, love, and let me kiss you.
 *
My sister gave me in that house there
a delicious slice of her homemade bread.
 *
In that village house I knelt beside
the bedside of a coffined child.
 *
In that air raid shelter I did hide
from enemy bombers in the night.
 *
In this street I once did see
a big red bus run near over me.
 *
From Glasgow city I sailed away,
great expectations filled my day.
 *
Down that road I walked on air,
softly whispering my love for her.
 *
In that ward a miracle I did see;
my first daughter born to me.
 *
So many places I have seen,
wandering, adventurous, lucky me.
 *
Dennis Crompton © 1995
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Duty?

mother

(This is imagined, as my mother died when I was one year old…)
*
From the earliest of days when my learning began,
‘You are beautiful’, my mother told me,
and I learned what was right in those days as a child,
all at the feet of my mother.
*
And when I reached five I was led as I cried
to the kindergarten just down the street,
told to ‘Sit on the ground’, other children around
to be taught at the feet of another.
*
I grew up quite quickly and the years they passed by,
then told that brave I must be,
I was ordered to go to the camp in the cold,
where they taught me to fight like the others.
*
In my uniform neat I marched to the beat
of the band on the great parade ground,
they gave me a rifle, learned to shoot in a trifle,
‘Now go out, do your duty’, they said.
*
I was marched up a hill and ordered to fight
or to die, whichever came first;
in my sights then I saw, the soul of my foe
and found I could not pull the trigger.
*
A rifle shot fired, as ordered out there,
found its mark and I fell to the ground,
and in dying I saw not the face of a foe
but the grief on the face of all mothers.
*
Dennis Crompton © 1994
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Sometimes...

So many times I have wondered how my mother felt about me. I never knew her; she died when I was one year old. Part of this poem covers those thoughts.
mother and baby
Sometimes I wonder at how I came to be…
From two separate entities preparing parts of me;
mother and father, loving ecstasy,
nine months later then entranced ME!
*
Sometimes I wonder what Mother’s thoughts had been,
the moment her eyes first gazed at precious me;
tired and aching reaching out to me,
held me, kissed me…then whispered, what?…to me?
*
Sometimes I wonder at the sights I came to see,
living earth, clouds and sky, ever changing scenes;
birds and beasts, fish in the sea…
the colours of nature all wondrous and free.
*
Sometimes I wonder at what life is all about;
winter and summer, floods and droughts;
the bitter, the sweet, certainty and doubt;
living and dying, a whimper, a shout.
*
Sometimes I wonder at the living mystery
of skin, blood and bone forming the visible part of me,
clothing the invisible you see as me;
sometimes I wonder…now, which is the real me?
*
Dennis Crompton © 1998
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Another side

sad man


Oh, but he was handsome,
with his dark eyes,
sparkling teeth,
and ready smile upon his cheeks.
And yes, I kind of envied him.
*
Pommie joker back in 1954,
I, along with others,
soon was settling down,
learning a trade along with Jeff,
saw another side of this man.
*
He was married, with a child,
his wife, good looking, wanted more.
Other guys offered, were accepted.
Jeff became worn and much neglected,
tried so hard to reach his objective.
*
Each day he struggled to maintain
a smiling face, make home a base,
and rumours false, some maybe true,
said she was an angel or a shrew.
*
And oh, I felt so sad for him.
I was not close enough to support him.
Said not a word lest it should throw him.
*
He lost his family and occupation,
then laid with pad between his teeth
was shocked and convulsed as medication.
I saw him sometimes after his therapy,
hardly recognised the shuffling effigy.
Gone were the things I once had coveted,
sadly wondering how this could be tolerated.
And oh it was so sad to see him.
 *
I was quite a young man then,
yet I can't forget my friend.
He had so much of what I wanted,
good looks, dark hair and sparkling teeth,
a lovely child and so-called help-meet.
 *
Dennis Crompton © 1998
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Lost love

lost love

I still have so much to learn
about myself, the wonders of my being.
I claim to be myself,
no want have I to imitate another.
*
Yet how shamefully some treat me,
they care not for my tears,
with words that sear they penetrate my soul,
and laugh derisive seeking to destroy.
*
They think I do not care, think I do not feel,
that because I'm quiet then I must be weak…
but I am who I am and they do me a great wrong
dismissing me with sarcasm and their belittling scorn.
*
How else can it be, my outer form betrays me …
hides the deepest longings of my heart?
My failing spirit weakens my resolve,
I cannot lift my face to look at you
my weeping eyes, they blind me,
and you cannot see how deep the love lies there.
*
My stuttering lips, they fail me,
and so I speak not how I yearn for love…
and if I could my voice would break with sorrow,
the words are there, but locked within my breast.
*
Alone amidst surrounding throngs
I sought the eyes that maybe searched for mine.
I had so much to give,
to share with someone else who cared.
*
I sought a warm embrace,
and lips to kiss and our desires to share.
I sought a loving heart,
one with mine that to the heavens might rise.
Once, an ecstasy flowed through me…
her eyes on mine did set me all aglow.
*
Her smile, her voice, her touch,
her presence near, with rapturous delight
did make my spirit to the heavens fly.
*
She was an angel, I a mere mortal, and with
all my senses captured at her feet I fell.
Sadly, as the sun's rays kindle life in spring,
alas will also blind the one who looks too long.
*
So the heart that careless of my love outpoured,
lost love, of the one who to the end adored.
*
Dennis Crompton © 1998
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

My brother, Fred, part 2 - A letter to Joyce

A few weeks after my brother Fred died, I wrote this letter to his wife, my sister-in-law, Joyce. It follows on from my previous post 'My brother, Fred'.

P1040018
*
Dear Joyce

Now that a little time has passed since Fred’s death and things will gradually be returning to something like normal for you, here are a few things I would liked to have said to you in person that time and distance didn’t allow.

Fred was always a kind and loving brother, helping me understand and come to grips with various things that happened to us in good times and those not so good through circumstances beyond our control. With sadness and concern he had to leave us in 1942 enlisting in the Royal Navy. Then I did my best to write my letters to him and through my schoolboy efforts I tried hard to express my thoughts to him through those times.

He had a generous heart and always surprised us when he came home on leave carrying kit bags loaded with tinned foods and other things from Canada, something that cheered us during rationing wartime England.
As my brother, we had so little time together, so on my last visit to UK in 2001 he took the opportunity to join me in visiting Southport in search of information about the plans our mother drew for the house built by Dad. We got so close but some obstacle or other prevented us from obtaining copies for our family history. Still, we were together when [your son] Brian drove us around looking at the home Dad built for us in Cottam, and I’m thankful that the nostalgia of that time with Fred by my side is still with me.

That my big brother has had a very happy and contented life with you Joyce as his wife and partner, along with Brian and his family, means so much to me and my family, not forgetting our big sister, Hilda in Preston. I hope these few words will ease things for you as the days come and go for you Joyce.

As I said before, I will miss him more than I can say.

Much love then, from Dennis

Dennis Crompton © 2012
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

My brother, Fred

Fred Crompton 87, Bolton

FRED CROMPTON Obituary
On August 14, 2012, died peacefully at St. Catherine's Hospice aged 88 years. The dearly beloved husband of Joyce, much loved dad of Brian, dear father-in-law of Andrea, and a devoted grandad of Sara. Brother of Hilda, Jean and Dennis. Loved and remembered always.
*
I've written before of our 'fractured childhood', caused through circumstances to my mother and father who had no control over the events that befell them through those Depression years. Dad was doing well building houses, the plans for which my mother drew up. Though Fred and I went in search of those plans at various places, we were unsuccessful. They existed in one place we visited, the storage department of Preston County Council, but for one reason or another we were not able to obtain copies.

In the midst of their success, Florence, the mother I never knew, died of cancer in 1930, twelve months and a few days after I was born.

So of my early years at Cottam with my Mum and Dad, sisters Jean and Hilda and brother Fred I have no remembrance, save for odd pictures in my mind of things told me of those days. That they were happy days I have no doubt, and when Dad and I were alone together a few times I'd ask him quietly, ‘What was my mother like, Dad?’ I so desperately wanted something to give me a picture of her that I could hold on to. Her photograph wasn't enough; one I have shows her seated in the open on a grey kind of day. Poor Dad, he just couldn’t get anything out except, ‘She was a lovely woman and companion, a great cook and mother…’, and tears would fill his eyes and he just couldn’t go on. Soon after that I stopped asking; I could see it caused him too much pain.

When I moved from the infant section in the Shepherd Street Mission Children’s Home to the boy's wing, the first boy to greet me was this big boy with a warm smile and face to match. ‘Hello Dennis, I'm your brother Fred. Remember me?’ I didn't, but I liked him and felt really glad that he was my brother in amongst all those other boys who were strangers to me. He went on to tell me we had two sisters, Hilda and Jean, in the girl's wing, and that our Dad would be in to see us when he could. This was all news to me and I was somewhat bewildered by it, and also by other things I'd been told had happened in the family a few years before. So, from sometime in 1932 until 1936 I was alone in Shepherd Street Mission Children's Home, until I found out I had a family.

My big brother Fred kept an eye on me, and I felt good about that. Then a few weeks after I turned seven, Fred told me quietly that we'd soon be leaving the home and going to our home. His quiet excitement was infectious and I began to feel like a person in my own right, not just one of a whole bunch of boys. We had a Dad who came to see us from time to time, just for an hour or two when his work permitted and he was going to take us to live with him and we'd be a family again. Fred did much to make sense of all of this for me. Then, our time at Longridge, after we left the Children’s Home in 1936, were happy days for us as a family. Though war was brewing in Europe, we lived in peace and for a short while enjoyed a time of good food, a happy home and healthy living together. We had about ten years together before separation again.
Came 1939 and Fred joined the Home Guard. His photograph in uniform of that time shows a young boyish figure.
Fred Crompton 18, Home Guard Uniform
aged 18 years, in Home Guard Uniform
I began to worry that he might have to leave us and go to war as he wasn't called up until 1942. Then, he was sent to join HMS Raleigh, a shore bound Royal Navy station near Portsmouth, I think.  My emotions were in turmoil as I thought of scenes I'd seen of war in some magazines Dad had of WWI, and I dreaded my big brother having to face any of that. He didn't seem too concerned about things; he enjoyed the Royal Navy, the camaraderie and adventure of it all, and came safely through the war to start life again in Preston.

He began to spend more and more time in dancing at the Tower Ballroom, Blackpool, where his blue eyes and dancing feet took him straight to a certain Joyce Hargreaves. They danced a lot there, and I was quite chuffed at him having this delightful young lady to go out with. They married of course, and they married in Blackpool and have had a happy time together ever since with their only son Brian, who is now married to Andrea with their daughter Sara to keep them on their toes. Like me, Fred had a gentle and sensitive nature, which, I like to believe, came from our dear mother.

So this was Fred my brother, I hope some of the qualities that were his have rubbed off on me. I shall miss him more than I can say.

Dennis Crompton © 2012
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Sunday, 17 November 2013

The long goodbye

hiroshima

This was written after reading the article: Up from Ground Zero, by Ted Gup, in the National Geographic, August 1995
 
When someone is bereaved, healing usually comes with the passing of time, or through faith in a religion. For some, grief may mingle with guilt at having survived while loved ones died, resulting in the bereavement being a prolonged and agonising affair. The bereavement of Mrs Shina Sonoda, a widow with four children living in Hiroshima, was to start in 1945.

The facts concerning what happened at Hiroshima at around 8.16 am on 6 August that year are well known. The pictures or films of the awesome destruction from the explosion of an atomic bomb have been seen by all, but we see at a distance; we are remote, not connected, only horrified observers of what we humans can do to each other; our feelings dependent on whether we had loved ones or close friends who suffered through the actions of the Japanese prior to the bomb.

I was in my early teens then and felt the Japanese had brought such disasters on themselves. When I married and became a father my way of thinking changed, often prefaced by the thought: How would I feel if my wife or children were in that position?

In a doctor’s waiting room recently I read an item about Hiroshima, which brought a personal aspect to the bombing, it went like this …

The air raid siren had sounded the All Clear as Mrs Sonoda’s daughter; Akiko again pleaded for the tin of tangerines to be opened, which her mother had promised she would open after an air raid sometime soon. Shima smiled as she gave her a hug: Not this time, Akiko, she said quietly. A few seconds later the bomb exploded reducing the city to a pile of rubble aglow with deadly radiation. Over 80,000 people died instantly with another 60,000 dead within the next 12 months.
As I read, the father part of me imagined I was there with my family. It was devastatingly real. I could see it! At the same time I recalled Winston Churchill, Britain’s Prime Minister at that time quoting Hosea, a prophet in the Old Testament:
‘They have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.’
Nothing humans can do can stop a whirlwind, we can only wait until it has passed, pick up the pieces and start again.

I imagined Shima in the midst of all that horror after the bomb. I saw her as a mother, ignoring her own needs, sobbing and searching frantically for Akiko. I heard her moans of disbelief and horror at the utter madness of our civilisation, wondering why everything all around her had been destroyed, yet she had survived and Akiko had not. All that remained was the image of her daughter in her mind.

Of course I could never really know what it was like for Mrs Sonoda, but as I read I did know that I could have been born Japanese. My name could have been Sonoda, then I would have been as they, thought and acted as they.

I read on. Tormented because she hadn’t found Akiko, she also deeply regretted that she hadn’t opened the tin of tangerines; it was such a simple last request after all. From that time on she knelt every morning at her Buddhist shrine. With her prayer she offered a tin of tangerines for the soul of Akiko and with the prayers her grief was eased a little each day.

Close to the dome of twisted steel and concrete, the picture most of us have of Hiroshima is the Peace Memorial Museum. The basement houses an index, each card detailing someone who died as a result of the bombing.

Ted Gup who brought the story of Shima Sonoda to light asked to see Akiko’s card. It records that Yoshiharo Agari was the one who found her crushed body. The card had been there for years. I don’t know if Mrs Sonoda ever went there to see those details, or ever will. If she does, her long goodbye may end at last in the city which is now called Peace.

Dennis Crompton © 1995
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Mr Wentworth

angel
This is a true story from my boyhood in Longridge. 

My father passed his sense of humour on to all his four children, for which I am very grateful. Sometimes on reading the paper he’d say something like: ‘I see Mr Sackforth’s up and died. He was 89. Well, he’d had a good innings. Time he died.’ My eldest sister, Hilda would remonstrate, but with a smile, ‘Oh Dad, you shouldn’t say such things,’ while the rest of us grinned. That was alright, I thought with the wisdom of a nine year old. I mean, 89 years of age, that’s nearly a score over our allotted time span according to the Bible. But then Simon Wentworth, who had just had his second birthday, died; that was at the beginning of the time span and none of us smiled.

It was the first time I’d come so close to death and our street was quieter for a few days. Bernard, his older brother, one of the boys we played with, seemed to have accepted it. Living with the illness of his younger brother over the past weeks must have prepared him, I guess. I met his father only once, but I’ll never forget him. A quietly spoken man, he lived with his wife and two sons just around the corner at the top of our street.

There was talk of the funeral, mostly by the Catholics; we were surrounded by them but there was none of the open animosity between Protestants and Catholics that bristled in some places those days. Mrs Wentworth was firm in her Catholic beliefs and Bernard went to church with his mother as regular as you like. He treated church-going more as a duty he owed his mother, which I thought was nice of him. I never thought about what God or the priest might have thought. You don’t when you’re young, do you?

I was with the small group of children who Bernard invited to go and see Simon’s body to say goodbye. I didn’t have much time to think about whether I wanted to see a dead body lying in a coffin and was with the group that knocked on their door at 3 p.m. that day. A tall dignified man with a touch of sadness in his face opened the door. ‘Bernard said we could come and see Simon. Is that alright Mr Wentworth?’ one of our group asked. He looked at each of us in turn, then nodded his head and invited us in.

When the door was closed and we were quiet he spoke to us; as I remember he said something like: ’I’m pleased you’ve come. You know, Simon has been unwell for some weeks. The doctors told us there was nothing they could do to make him better. He was a bright little chap, and we shall miss hm.’ Then he turned and led the way. I remember the sound our clogs made as we all trooped up the wooden stairs, entered the room and stood around both sides of the bed where the small white coffin lay. Then I saw that Bernard had joined us.

After a few moments someone said: ‘Has he gone to heaven, Mr Wentworth?’ He was silent and I sensed he was thinking of how to answer such a question. Then he looked at us, raised an eyebrow and said: ‘I think so. Yes, I think so’. Nobody knew what to say next or was too shy to say anything. Then his voice was saying: ‘If you’d like, you could kneel and say a little prayer of your own now’. And kneeling down by the little coffin that is what each one of us did.

I looked at Mr Wentworth carefully as we left. Everything about the man had made an impression on me; his quiet dignity and the underlying warmth of his humanity. He said goodbye as again he looked at each of us, watched us start to walk down the street, then he went inside and closed the door.

A few weeks later, Bernard and I were on our own and he told me that his father had had no time for religion, priests and ministers. No time for church or the singing of psalms and hymns. Something to do with the horrors of war and the way some religious people treats those who have different beliefs to them.
I found that interesting. My father had said similar things to me after being a soldier in the First World War. Bernard went on: ‘It helped Dad when you and the others came to see Simon and knelt by his coffin to pray. He reckoned that the prayers of innocent children would have reached the ears and heart of God before those spoken by priests or ministers of churches.’

I can’t escape the feeling today that Mr Wentworth was probably right. From time to time the remembrance of that event comes back to me and I know no what it was about him was significant for me: He was a man at peace with himself, despite his grief.

Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

Angels guard thee

angel

Sometimes in my sleep, when I am least on my guard, somewhere just below the fully conscious surface of my mind, I realise that I am weeping. Not the surface weeping restricted by thoughts of what people would think of me, but a deep sobbing, as if some control gates have opened releasing a built-up flood behind them.
There is something quite profound and reassuringly therapeutic about what is happening that I want it to continue for a while. It is accompanied by a desire that someone be present to witness with me what is happening, as if without it, the event will not carry sufficient weight to be a sustainable therapy for me.

I've tried to think through why this has happened and reason that it is in order that some kind of rebalancing can take place. In various places around the world we can find fresh springs of water. We know that some force below is pushing the water to the surface. Those who have studied these things will have a good explanation of how this comes about.

But what causes our weeping to rise from the depths of our unconscious being? I guess psychologists and therapists of one kind or another will have their explanations. Certainly we're fortunate to possess this inbuilt safety device which detects when parts of our system have reached a dangerous level and must be dealt with. Fully conscious, our personality fights against reducing this danger by the normal process of weeping. I know my system has been influenced and shaped in the past by the false premises of: Be a man. Men don't weep. Only weak people cry. It won't do for people to see you weeping…

Fortunately we are wiser today. Counselling is provided for those in highly stressed occupations, such as the fire service, ambulance and police. These people know that at any time they can call on the services of a trained counsellor to help them whenever they feel their inner stress is becoming too much for them to cope. I am thankful for that part of my system, which like guardian angels, keeps watch, helping me to weep when things become too much.
Now cracks a noble heart.
Good-night, sweet prince.
And flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest!
Hamlet v/1.373

Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)

A group of low-life associates

grave

They were bustled to the door, one of their helpers murmuring, ‘A couple of light-ales between the four of you; you’d get drunk on the smell of a bar-maid’s apron. Out with you!’ It was still only mid-afternoon as the four young men staggered across the street pushing people aside, hurling obscenities at any who objected by look or reprimand.

They were well-known in the small town of that South Wales district; where family, friends and society in general had apparently disowned them. All their fathers had been happy in being with their sons at the beginning; lovely it was too. Gareth’s father, Elwyn, had shared in changing his nappies, playing, cuddling and bottle-feeding his son. Like a boy with a puppy he was, till the novelty wore off. After that, his wife Bronwyn was often alone at night, her heart aching for his company. Her man was easily led and being still employed, part-time anyway, was the man with a bit of money in his pocket. Well, he had his pals too, see, and the booze gradually took over.

If, unbeknownst to those inside, you’d pushed through their front door back then and stood and listened for a while, you’d have understood why Bronwyn never could disown her son. Even now, with him overseas these past twenty-five years, she still felt the same, and the tears came with the anguish she felt deep inside. Gareth had tried hard at school, bless him. Would come home bursting to share something new he’d learned that day, her heart rejoicing in his infectious delight. It was different with Elwyn, Perhaps he was ashamed at his own lack of education, or maybe even jealous, but Gareth’s enthusiasm to share things with his father would be brushed aside. She’d tried to get him to understand what it meant to his son, but he was head of the house and stubborn with it.

At what point her son had gone off the rails, she couldn’t say. He hadn’t worked since leaving school; many coal-mines had closed and those still open near Corwen, in Denbigshire were down to one shift a day. Too many after the few jobs going; soul-destroying it was and the ‘low-life associates’ his father called his friends were his mates from school. Just ordinary lads on the same scrap-heap as himself, until the madness of Hitler offered them another way. Redemption, would you call it? Whatever it was, he and his friends joined up together in 1939. Howell Harris, Glyn Owen, David Rowland and Gareth Williams. In a few short months they’d learned to obey orders and march in step, use a rifle and bayonet, throw hand-grenades and die doing it in a farm orchard, West Germany, one warm spring day in 1945.

Sometimes, Bronwyn gets out the letter from Gareth’s commanding officer. It’s not a long letter but it takes her time to read it through her weeping. Then she walks down the street and looks at their names engraved in stone on the monument. Stone! There’s cold and lifeless for you. And over in Germany you can read the names on the monuments to their war dead. I wouldn’t be surprised if over half of those named, of whatever nationality, were at one time like Howell, Glyn, David and Gareth numbered amongst the low-life associates where they lived.

Ironic at times, life, isn’t it?

Dennis Crompton © 1997
(first published www.denniscrompton.wordpress.com 2013)